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Joke of the Day

"I really hate picketing but I don't know how to show it! RIP Mitch"

"what % of the time are birds just chilling"

"I text back embarrassingly fast or three days later there is no in-between."

"How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning."

"A guy was admitted to the emergency ward with half a dozen toy horses stuck up his ass. His condition was listed as ""stable""."

"What's a pirates favorite type of fish? GAAAARRRRRRRR!!! Edit: I beat ya guys to it. Ha"

"Have you heard the joke that they don't tell assholes? Oh, no? Nevermind then."

"The most unrealistic thing about The Walking Dead is that a couple who had a kid after 2000 would've named it Carl."

"90% of being a parent is shouting, ""Remember to flush the toilet."" The other 10% is flushing the toilet for everyone."

"What is Santa's favorite band? Slayer."