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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you catch a rabbit? A: Hide in a meadow and make carrot noises."

"I'm allergic to Everclear. It makes me break out.. Into handcuffs."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes ? Fish !"

"Poor Luigi when his parents were all, ""This is Mario, we also call him 'Super Mario'. And this Luigi, we also call him 'Player 2'."

"Girl are you a school? Because I wanna shoot some kids in you"

"What did the leper say the the prostitute? Keep the tip"

"My brother wanted me to watch his kid So I spent HOURS and HOURS childproofing my house. Wouldn't you know it? That fucker still got in."

"What do you call a whirlpool in a church? Holy water!"

"God is everywhere and knows everything? God sounds a lot like my ex-wife."

"What's the difference between a lesbian and a straight girl? Four drinks."