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Joke of the Day

"I saw a black guy riding a bike... At first I thought it was mine, then I realized mine is at home, washing the dishes."

"Do cute firemen still come when a cat is stuck in a tree? Only in case of fire? Fine. But pretty sure my cat won't like being set on fire."

"Anyone: I'm cold Me: Get a sweatshirt or something I'm not your mother Dog: *shivers once* Me: I WILL USE MY BODY HEAT TO KEEP YOU ALIVE"

"Why are native americans the best strippers? Because when they dance they make it rain."

"Two peanuts are walking down the road One is assaulted"

"I was driving today... And saw a sign that said, ""Steamed Crabs"". I began to wonder: ""What made them so mad?"""

"There was two muffins. They were put in the oven One muffin says to the other muffin, ""wow its hot in here!"" The other muffin said ""WHOAH, A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common? Same middle name."

"My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records... ... until the librarian kicked me out."

"Is sex without obligations possible after getting married? Yeah - sometimes I can have sex without promising to do the dishes afterwards."