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Joke of the Day

"Is sex without obligations possible after getting married? Yeah - sometimes I can have sex without promising to do the dishes afterwards."

"Is it ""raymen"" noodles or ""rawmun"" noodles? I don't wanna sound stupid when asking the gas station clerk for a wine to complement my dinner."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large-breasted crab? One's a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"I like my coffee like I like my men. Sweet and delicious and makes me feel awesome at first but then I feel like shit and end up sitting on the toilet regretting my life choices."

"How to you piss off a writer? The list off ways is to long too fit hear."

"[to hot girl at bus stop as bus approaches] ""I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to."""

"It's nice to see women who don't lose their figures as they grow older. They take such a long time to paint and Warhammer is expensive enough as it is."

"There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide everybody into two kinds of people, and those who don't."

"My can of whoop ass seems to have expired."

"My boss accused me of having OCD... I soon put him in his place."