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Joke of the Day

"Just watched the uncut version of Scarface. Face"

"DATE: *sighs* You said you were a professional body builder. ME: I am! I make prosthetics. Ha ha! And funny jokes! Wait where are you going?"

"I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid. But I can stop anytime."

"I ask WebMD to diagnose the weird brown mole I just noticed. ""1. Is it delicious?"" ...Yes? ""2. Were you eating Easter candy in bed?"" ...Oh."

"How do you castrate the pope? Kick the altar boy in the chin."

"Yo mama is so fat...that when she wore a blue and green sweatereveryone thought she was Planet Earth"

"Tried to pull up my sleeve and accidentally punched myself. It's okay, I've had it coming for some time now."

"It'll be a cold day in hell. Cloudy in purgatory, with a slight chance of rain. And clear skies up in heaven. Now over to Jim with sports."

"I said to the chemist: ""Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?"" He said: ""Why?"" I said: ""She keeps waking up."""

"A man walks into an Australian pet store, He asks the bloke behind the counter ""where do you keep the kangaroos mate?"" The bloke replies, ""outback."""