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Joke of the Day

"Tried to pull up my sleeve and accidentally punched myself. It's okay, I've had it coming for some time now."

"Why are 9/11 victims great readers? They can go through 90 stories in 10 seconds"

"Q: what did Norman Bates say... when the waitress asked him what kind of toast he wanted? A: wheat! wheat! wheat! wheat! wheat!..."

"I took two years of anger management courses Now I'm the manager of four brand new anger stores"

"whats the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator the refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out."

"I like my women as I like my classical regression model estimators: consistent, efficient, and fucking unbiased."

"What is it called when you're looking for a body killed by a mortician? Formaldehyde and seek!"

"BRENDA: I brought cookies! ME: I guess I can have one, I've been good all week *eats cookie* *eats entire tray of cookies* *eats Brenda too*"

"Just won a Nobel Prize for untangling a pair of Apple earbuds."

"What's the difference between a whore and Nickleback? A whore doesn't always suck cock."