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Joke of the Day

"So a guy walks in on his daughter masterbating with a cucumber. ""SICK!"" he said. ""I was going to eat that.... Now it's going to taste like cucumber."""

"I met a smelly man who had a way with words He was a pungent"

"What does your wife have in common with a Porn actress? They both moan SO much."

"My local council just installed a zebra crossing near the primary school What a waste of money, I've never even seen a zebra in this town"

"What's the difference between a Trump voter and a polar bear? One is a fat, white, mindless killing machine with no conscience or future, and the other is a bear."

"A wise Chinese man once said... ""If a dog barks... its probably undercooked""."

"Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic."

"Facebook asks what I'm thinking. Twitter asks what I'm doing. Google asks where I am. The internet has turned into my girlfriend."

"What did Archimedes exclaim when he discovered his penis floated in water? URETHRA!"

"A fella visited his doctor and says "" hi doc, I'm totally depressed and suicidal because I can do crosswords very easily and quickly"" Doctor says "" hey come on now, don't get two down""!"