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Joke of the Day

"A comedian walks into a bar full of r/historians.. [deleted]"

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"You'll sleep when you're dead?...that's adorable. Well, I'll lose weight when I'm dead, so pass the doughnuts."
"When someone shows you a picture of their kid the one thing they don't wanna hear is... ""Oh yeah I have some photos of your kid too"""
"What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!"
"""I need you to tie my poop together."" ""What? You've gotta be kidding me!"" ""No, I shit, you knot."""
"""Doctor, how bad is it?"" ""I mean, you're just not a great singer. I don't know why you needed a doctor to confirm for you, but there it is."""
"How do you know when you're at a gay picnic? The hot dogs taste like shit."
"[me buying drugs for the first time] wow that's a very puffy jacket u have on"
"What is the difference between a dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!"
"my yoga teacher asked me how flexible I was I told her I couldn't do Monday's."