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Joke of the Day
"my yoga teacher asked me how flexible I was I told her I couldn't do Monday's."
Next Joke
"Parenting Pro Tip: If a 5 year old says he needs a potty stop, or he's going to take a dump in the minivan, he's not making idle threats"
"Roger Federer asked what the large silver dish was for. ""Seconds"", they replied."
"There once was a lady from Madrass... There once was a lady from Madrass Who had a magnificent ass Not pretty and pink as you may think But had long ears and ate grass. Credit: Playboy, circa 1970s"
"Is this subreddit a vacuum? Because it sure does suck."
"[rap battle] *drops the mic* *scrambles around trying to pick up the mic* [20min earlier] *other guy covering my mic in butter*"
"How do you turn a cobra into a rattlesnake? Give it to Michael J Fox"
"An Asian Keanu enters a room. Asian Keanu got angry. Asian Keanu Reeves."
"What do you call a camel in the North Pole? Lost..... Why the fuck would a camel be in the North Pole?"
"The barber asked me ""do u have any kids"" & I said ""I do not, no"" and he got very quiet, realize now he probs thought I said ""I do not know"""