17100

Joke of the Day

"I just checked Web MD and a heart that grows two sizes is called a cardiomegaly and the grinch is pretty fortunate to be alive."

"If you're not carrying around matchbooks from places you've been recently I don't know why you don't want your murder to be solved"

"How to do fit ten popes in a vw bug? Tell them to take off their hats"

"Being an adult is mainly drinking coffee and pretending to be productive."

"You know your a redneck when...... _______________ (Fill in the blank)"

"What kind of fun do priests have? Nun"

"*Dad enters room dressed as Han Solo* ""May divorce be with you"" ""What?"" ""Your mother and I are getting a divorce. I figured I'd make it fun"""

"[job interview] ""What's your greatest weakness?"" I'm always hungry ""That's not what I-"" *takes out a cake* Also, I don't like to share"

"*takes coffee from hot barista *makes eye contact *smiles *winks *sips scalding coffee ""Thankth, thexy! Theeya!"" *walks outside *screams"

"Have you heard about the shampoo crisis in jamaica? It's dreadful"