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Joke of the Day

"My colleague was being a real asshole the other day. We had a costume contest and he definitely won the prize for ""Most Obscene."""

"What kind of stationary can't you defend yourself with? A TACK"

"Why do midgets laugh when they run in fields? Because the grass tickles their balls"

"Why did the circus animals go on strike? The elephants found out that they were being paid peanuts compared to the rest of the troupe and the ringleader was taking the lions share."

"I'm not saying she's a slut but she's had more people inside her than the statue of liberty!"

"Saw two elementary students get in a fistfight so as an adult I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance"

"What's the difference between three dicks, and the truth? Your mom can't handle the truth."

"This dude forgot to put tomatoes on my sandwich. Thanks, ""artist"". Now I have nothing to pick off."

"Learning karate in case I'm ever attacked by cinder blocks and wood planks."

"[on the phone] wife: My mom tripped over the dog me: Is she ok? wife: Yeah me: Can I talk to her? wife: Sure *calls for the dog*"