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Joke of the Day
"*finally detangles ear buds *plane lands"
Next Joke
"""911? Help, my son has gone missing"" [baby lowers hands from eyes] ""Holy crap he just appeared out of nowhere"""
"Whats the perfect place to hide a body on the internet? The second page of a youtube search."
"I received some food stamps the other day They tasted terrible."
"[First Date] Me: so can I see you again? Her: I had a nice time but I don't think so Me: *stops holding in stomach*"
"Benedict Cumberbatch, if we dissect his name it means ""Blessed batch of cucumbers"" In other words, he is just a jar of Kosher Dill Pickles"
"I have a friend who has a strange obsession with ceilings. I guess you could say he's a ceiling fan."
"THEM: Let's head down to Paradise City. I heard the girls are really hot there. ME: What's the grass situation?"
"just saw Gravity. excuse me while I go hug the earth."
"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a gynecologist? A gynecologist will shake a woman's hand before grabbing their pussy."