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Joke of the Day

"[job interview] Him: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm very independent. Him: ... Me: ... Him: ... Me: Tell him, Mom. Mom: He is!"

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the Fresh Prints"

"It must have been something to watch MC Escher's kids run down the stairs on Christmas morning for all eternity."

"Sir, on a scale of 1 to drunk, where would you say you stand? I'll sit"

"How did Hitler lose weight quickly ? Juice cleanse."

"Whats the difference between an apple and a dead baby I dont come on my apple before I eat it"

"Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese shop in France? The area was covered in De Brie..."

"Confucius say, ""woman with dress up run faster than man with pants down."" It's true. Do the math."

"What do you call it when a comedian falls back on childish humor simply to avoid complete failure? Pun-ting"

"If you run into someone you know and they say ""we should hang out sometime"" just say ""I'm ready to hang out right now"" and watch them panic"