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Joke of the Day

"I don't think it's called USA anymore, but DSA... The Divided States of America."

"You can learn a lot from a woman wielding a knife. For example, your top running speed."

"Dear person who just turned in your resume with no name or phone number. You didn't get the job."

"Niantic title"

"My wife asked me what her favorite type of flower was. Apparently ""All-Purpose"" wasn't the correct answer."

"I asked my math teacher if he wanted to rent an apartment with me Then he went on some tangent about needing a co-sign."

"Why did the boat know it had a leak? That sinking feeling..."

"[explain this joke] Phil Hartman ""what's the word on the street?"" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X2hqdOMxyM&t=9m34s different version http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0500148/quotes?item=qt0199251"

"What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot, you racist piece of shit."

"My friend handed out wedding invitations at her baby shower, like the classless knocked up slut she is."