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Joke of the Day

"Dear person who just turned in your resume with no name or phone number. You didn't get the job."

"How do you find a blind man in a nudist camp? It's not hard."

"TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport... The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking ""Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"" I replied ""No, only guns."""

"Did you hear about the cliff in Helen Keller's backyard? Neither did she."

"TIL there is a nerve that runs from the tear duct to the anus. If you don't believe me, let me pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye."

"I hate eating vegetables... The wheelchair is always getting in the way"

"Next time you're in a hospital elevator, calmly ask a stranger if they know what floor you should get off at for infectious diseases."

"So, I saw Simba walking today.. and he was walking too slow. So I told him ""C'mon! Mufasa""! Edited for a bit more for clarity.."

"Reddit, what good thing got ruined? Reddit."

"What is Jesus' favorite workout? Crossfitting"