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Joke of the Day

"Why don't we see more midget actors? I guess you can say that they are in short supply these days."

"What does a pig use to write his term papers with? Pen and Oink!"

"How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Need to know ASAP."

"Sneak into the employee bathroom at Target and make some violent alien noises, maybe leave a jellyfish in the toilet"

"Cop: How much have you had to drink? Me: Like six carrot juices Cop: Please step out of the hamster wheel"

"My stages of drunk: 1. You're UGLY 2. You're HOT 3. You're BEAUTIFUL 4. Your HONOR in my defense......"

"Life would be so much better if there were pinatas strategically placed throughout your day."

"What is the difference between Martin Luther King Day and St. Patrick's Day? St. Patrick's day everybody wants to be Irish."

"You people that are getting sex regularly either need to keep that shit to yourselves or be more descriptive."

"What does the son of God do when he is the victim of medical malpractice? Jesus"