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Joke of the Day

"Me: I'm going across the street to get a beer. Priest: You can't bring a beer in here. This is a church. Me: I can if it's in my stomach."

"Why people hate Billy Mays jokes because they're corny."

"Lol I wanted to be funny, well, then I remembered I am not even funny.."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is busty crustacean"

"What was the slogan for the cross-dresser's party? Eat, drink, and be Mary."

"Why was 110 afraid of 111? Because 111 1000 1001"

"I can sneak in an Uptown Funk reference here. Don't believe me? Just watch."

"How do ducks fly high? They use quack!"

"Why is the dyslexic afraid of Christmas? Because that's when Satan comes."

"So I asked my friend, if you could be in the sun as long as possible and not get sun burnt but the majority of the world hates you, would you do it? And my friend said yeah. Okay you're black."