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Joke of the Day
"What's the definition of black foreplay? Don't scream or I'll kill you."
Next Joke
"Being a parent is the opposite of the Jenny Craig diet. ""I gained 20lbs & all I did was eat small portions of my toddlers leftover dinner."""
"How many fingers does the Dragonborn have? (x-post from r/gaming) Four fingers and a thu'um."
"I'd slap you but I'm pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty."
"Comedy Club I sent a comedy club my resume. They looked at it for a second, and laughed their asses off. I thought it was a good sign. I never heard back. Now I work in Corporate America."
"Could you buy me something cheap for lunch, please? Sure thing, how about the gluten? It's free"
"Before working to reunite the US he was known as Abram Lincoln."
"History has forgotten the name of the man that invented the ""Lazy Susan"", but it conveniently still remembers the name of his ex-wife."
"What do you call a man on your porch? Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs."
"What ya call a lesbian with large fingers? Well hung!"