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Joke of the Day

"What ya call a lesbian with large fingers? Well hung!"

"My girlfriend is sick of me pretending that I'm a transformer. Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a transformer. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""No baby wait, I can change..."""

"What's the opposite of drunken noodles? Soba noodles!"

"How do you tell the difference between Male and Female ghosts? One has boooooobs. The other gets full pay at their jobs."

"When is the best time to play racquet sports? Ten-ish."

"Everyone lectures Americans about our politics.. We use our military to lecture the rest of the world's on theirs."

"Brother: Which is farther away- NY City or the moon? Sister: NY City. Why do ask? Brother: Well I can see the moon but I can't see NY City."

"Whats brown and sounds like a bell? DUUUUUuU^nnnnnnnggggg^nnnnggg^nnnggg^nnnggg"

"What did one wall say to the other? Meet me in the corner!"

"A blackout is just your brain clearing it's browsing history."