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Joke of the Day

"Someone stole the coffin at my grandfather's funeral. I couldn't bereave it!"

"What does a balding man and a tortoise have in common? Hare loss."

"All human beings are threads interwoven in the great tapestry of life, except for that one guy at your office. What the hell is his problem?"

"*flips cap backwards* son, let's keep it real *puts on another cap* the realest *puts on suit made of backwards caps* REALality. word."

"What's the difference in a dog, some meat, and a blow job? You can beat your dog, you can beat your meat, but you can't beat a blow job."

"What do you get when a ghost takes a crap? Rectoplasm."

"I walked into a Chinese bar and ordered the heaviest drink. The bartender served me wonton soup."

"Do You Want to Play a Game Buddy? http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/wanna-play-the-rape-game.jpg"

"What do you say to an native american who, you think, is telling you lies? Don't sittin' bullshit me."

"Not to brag, but I finished this 14 day diet... in 3 hours and 38 minutes."