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Joke of the Day

"Driving a rental car means never knowing the safest place to wipe a booger without haphazardly finding someone else's."

"What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises? He lost his hearing."

"Why can't Chinese couples have caucasian babies? Because two wongs dont make a white"

"Why did the farmer make a high-pitched gasp? Because he was tired of the sigh-low."

"WHEN CATS ARE SAD Bartender: What'll ya have? Cat: Shot of rum. [Bartender pours it] [Cat slowly pushes it off the bar] Cat: Another."

"At least in 4 years we'll be able to look back at this election with 2020 vision."

"Stay through the end of Hansel & Gretel to see Nick Fury kick Jeremy Renner out of The Avengers."

"My 5'2"" friend and a person in debt both have something in common. They're both coming up short."

"What is the difference between a horror fiction writer and a disabled physicist? Haw"

"The doctor told me I should stop masturbating today. So I look him straight in the eye and asked him ""why?"". And then he said something about not being able to work in these conditions."