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Joke of the Day

"My most redeeming quality is the fact that I return bottles for cash."

"I may be delusional, but at least every single person I've ever met is in love with me"

"Can someone tell me that Johnny go deeper joke from 15 years ago? I was in middle school and can't remember it completely."

"19 and 20 got into a fight... Now they're facing 123 years on disturbing the peace."

"I hope my tombstone reads: Matrixed 9 out of 10 bullets."

"My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy! Now I have to sit down when I pee."

"Why is it easy for chicks to talk ? Because talk is cheep !"

"Teacher: When you yawn your supposed to put your hand to your mouth! Pupil: What? and get bitten!"

"Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin' and Refugee? He was charged with Petty theft."

"So when people say they religiously do something. Does that mean they do it really hypocritically and fairy tale like?"