60422

Joke of the Day

"Can someone tell me that Johnny go deeper joke from 15 years ago? I was in middle school and can't remember it completely."

"If I had a dollar for every dollar I had... I would be a counterfeiter."

"[on phone] mom I need u to pick me up from the restaurant right now *whispers* no the date is going terrible, she pronounced it 'pokey-man'"

"theres a train nerd counting the number of ppl that get on and off at every stop. at first i pitied him but he seems happy so now i hate him"

"How are tigers like sergeants in the army ? They both wear stripes !"

"How do you hit 20 flies in one shot? Hit an Ethiopian in the head with a frying pan."

"Why is Ireland so rich? Because their capital is always Dublin."

"What does JK Rowling text her friends to let them know that she was just kidding :("

"I'll die fat, drunk & happy while you live healthy until you get run over by a bus... See ya at the cemetery!"

"what do you call a scared Mexican? ""What do you call a scared Mexican?"" ""Pedro-fied"""