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Joke of the Day

"To tell you the truth, beginning a sentence with ""To tell you the truth"" throws into question all else you've previous said."

"Men are like Bluetooth. When they're close they're connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment."

"What do you call a dock that lost it's cock? A TRANSport"

"How do you know if you are having a good time? When you throw your knickers against the wall, and they stay there."

"Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. "

"Imagine dressing up as Hitler for Halloween in Israel."

"Apparently just because I have the ""mind of a child"" I'm not allowed to sit on a Santa's lap. Also it's ""illegal"" to carry a brain around."

"People say drugs are bad, but I'm calling complete BS on that. I've only been on meth for 20 minutes and I'm already the king of Jupiter."

"Turned on TV and heard people talking about grinding, pumping & hole filling. Sadly, it was just CNN."

"What do you get when you divide a pumpkin's circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin pi!"