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Joke of the Day

"People: why do dogs bark at the mail man every single day Dogs: the mailman has literally never gotten in how do you not see what I'm doing"

"The owner of my favorite restaurant was arrested for beastiality That explains why Jerk Chicken and Pulled Pork were the only two items on the menu"

"The meanest man in the world Is the Warden who put a tack on the electric chair."

"Democratic debate is in Flint, Michigan ""Would you like some water Secretary??"""" ""No, not at all!"""

"Please don't ruin Breaking Bad for me... I'm only at the part where A texts Aria, Spencer, Hanna and Emily"

"Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old."

"Have you ever had sex while camping? Its fucking in tents"

"I hate when my congressman emails me to ""take action"" on an issue. Dude, you're the one in congress, you do something."

"Did you hear about the vertically challenged psychic that robbed a bank? Police say they're looking for a small medium at large."

"What did the fly say to the second man on the moon? Buzz....."