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Joke of the Day

"Democratic debate is in Flint, Michigan ""Would you like some water Secretary??"""" ""No, not at all!"""

"Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt? It'd be a waste of time."

"I still think Porky Pig got his stutter from an early jail experience."

"Wife: Did you eat an ENTIRE half-gallon of ice cream?!?! Me: It was getting freezer-burned. W: I just bought it today! Me: Crazy freezer."

"My kid told me an ""old dead girl"" lives in her room and whispers to her at night. I hope they get along cuz I'm never going in there again."

"My wife is a computer geek and wants to name our son ""one eighth of a byte"" So I said ""Really honey? Don't you think that's a bit...?"""

"Dude, why did you buy Grand Theft Auto 5? I mean, honestly, you live in Detroit. You could've just gone outside and saved yourself $50."

"What is a Pokemon's favourite place to go in France? Paras"

"One fun way to describe Facebook is ""imagine you are a mind reader in Walmart."""

"Why is it called a cunt? Because that's the sound it makes when you kick it."