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Joke of the Day

"A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them."

"How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. Gas chambers don't have light bulbs."

"Why do Italian men grow mustaches? To try to look like their mothers."

"There was a masturbating contest ... ... I didn't win though, I came in second place."

"Unfortunately, the house having 'period features' turned out to mean we had to get the decorators in once a month."

"Fancy Dress My mate and I decided to go to a fancy dress but he was adamant that we had to go dressed as Tom Chaplin and Jesse Quin. I wasn't very Keane on the idea."

"my reaction to stepping in dog shit is identical to me logging onto facebook..."

"This one time, a work colleague declared The Avengers to be a better film than The Dark Knight. That was a busy day in HR, I can tell you."

"What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she gave him a scarf for Christmas? Gee, you knit?"

"If boys had uteruses... If boys had uteruses they would be called Duderuses. (from Bobs Burgers)"