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Joke of the Day

"Martin Shkreli has been arrested. Bail will be set, then quickly raised to an amount he can't possible afford."

"The worst thing about a prison tattoo is always having to explain why you got a tattoo of a prison."

"The Web's Best 1,419,302,855,011,440 JPEG images (SLIDESHOW)"

"If Paula Deen's new cookbook isn't titled 'Fifty Shades of Gravy', I'm going to lose a considerable amount of money on the bet I just made."

"What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? Nothing. You can't cross a scaler and a vector"

"Relationship status : Taken (for granted)"

"She was upset when I gave her 4 quarters rather than dollar... It has the same value. It doesn't make any cents."

"I offered a homeless man the rest of my Pumpkin Spiced Latte.. He said ""No thanks. I'm homeless, not a fag."""

"How can you tell if someone has Alzheimer's? A. How can you tell if someone has Alzheimers?"

"Never trust an anti-aging lotion that has an expiry date."