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Joke of the Day

"How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool? Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off? Shake the stool. ^(OK, I'll leave now.)"

"I once thought about suicide. Then I realised that there's probably better things to name our child."

"Sorry I ruined your surprise party by telling everyone it was an intervention"

"Ugh, I hate wearing this towel while my wife washes my cape."

"[Lizard Enterprises HQ] Lizard Boss: Um excuse me, do you work here? Snake balancing on 4 toothpicks (nervously): Uh yessir why do you ask?"

"What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot? One says ""hey, you, get off of my cloud"", and the other says ""hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe""."

"Why don't kleptomaniacs get jokes? Because they take everything literally."

"A LOT of people have been photobombing my shots of Waldo"

"""I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."

"What has little balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine."