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Joke of the Day

"[Lizard Enterprises HQ] Lizard Boss: Um excuse me, do you work here? Snake balancing on 4 toothpicks (nervously): Uh yessir why do you ask?"

"I saw a man the other day arguing with a traffic sign The sign looked incredibly uncomfortable. It really wanted him to Stop."

"QA Engineer Goes To A Bar He orders 1 beer. He orders -1 beer. He orders 644644678 beer. He orders a goat. He orders asdfg."

"Accountants are very clever opponents. They are used to being underestimated."

"It's okay to laugh during sex, just don't point."

"What do you call a sad state? Missouri"

"How did alexander find out his wife was a slut? when she got the whores throat."

"What makes a great pizza joke? It's all in the delivery."

"I need a keyboard shortcut for ""sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your email..."""

"Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car? She got tired of all that Cruise control."