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Joke of the Day

"*lays in bed for 12 hours I guess I'll get up now *walks over to couch & lays down"

"I joined a reggae band playing the triangle. I just stand at the back and ting."

"I just got a job circumcising elephants. The pay is terrible, but the tips are huge."

"How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs? He hires Santa's elves during the off-season."

"If Bruce Jenner goes missing tonight, will they put his face on a carton of half n half?"

"What if sun screen is really just a seasoning rub created by aliens."

"What do you call a well-behaved Indian takeaway? A proppadom"

"Cutest thing I saw today was the dad angrily slamming the sliding door of his minivan but it slowed down by itself and latched silently"

"Where did the pirate go to college? Yale. He was rejected from H**arrrr**vard."

"Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands They are now known as the Islands."