2877

Joke of the Day

"Hello Darkness, my old frie- *the lights suddenly turn on* oh it's like that now?"

"An eskimo sitting in a kayak was chilly. He lit a fire. Unsurprisingly the kayak sank. Moral: You can't have your kayak and heat it too."

"What is an obstetrician's favorite part of the ocean? It's the sea section."

"34% stats on reddit are made up. . . Like your love life."

"I asked my friend from New Zealand how many times he'd had sex... but he fell asleep before he could tell me."

"Priests should not have to live in a state of forced celibacy, but be free to marry and let celibacy slowly descend upon them the usual way."

"I once raised a roof, and now that he's all grown up he never writes or calls."

"My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with 'Star Wars'. I said: May divorce be with you..."

"What is the difference between a yogurt and america? If you leave the yogurt for 100 years alone, it develops a culture."

"French scientists announced that they can finally successfully clone a rat! Thank goodness! This will solve the huge rat shortage."