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Joke of the Day

"Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing zone in a swimming pool."

"*sticks hand into jean pocket* Aw damn, why in the hell do I have bbq sauce in my pocket? *checks other pocket and finds nuggets* Oh, ok."

"Why won't anti vaxers ever win an election? All their supporters are home with sick kids"

"IF UR DATING SOMEONE AND THEY GIVE YOU GOOSEBUMPS BUT THEY DON'T GIVE YOU FRIES WHY ARE YOU TOGETHER?"

"I'm so bad with directions that every time I try to go to Pound Town I end up in the Friend Zone."

"Why is it called PMS? ""Mad Cow Disease"" was already taken."

"I'm about as jealous as a cancer patient who watches x-men."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay to see a lentil."

"What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint? Shake N' Bake."

"I signed up for the Do Not List list, but was immediately removed as I had requested."