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Joke of the Day

"I met my exgirlfriend while I was attending college... ... I went to the local community college, but she went to the Christian University of North Texas which explains a lot."

"What's black and white and red all over? Mimes in a chainsaw fight."

"Don't judge. Maybe I'm conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don't know."

"To get to the other side. Why did the chicken use the time machine?"

"Breaking news: The Irish have come up with a new use for sheep. Wool."

"Did you hear Cyan delayed the release of Obduction again? Apparently they myst some deadlines."

"*seductively moistens your lips with the meatloaf"

"Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. ""You guys look like dumb idiots lol"" says one Chinese guy"

"Why did Jimmy get into a horrific car accident? He let God take the wheel Edit: *Jesus.* He let *Jesus* take the wheel"

"If you piss me off in the grocery store I will get in line in front of you and pay for a single banana with a personal check"