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Joke of the Day

"Being a stripper is like working at McDonald's.... Covered in oil and questioning your choices after high school."

"He's as sharp as a bowling ball."

"I can't believe Earth is 2017 years old! ...plus a couple billion years..."

"I've just started work as a human chess piece. The money's good, I'm on knights this week."

"My favorite sushi bar is the one where you can yell ""ARF, ARF"" like a seal and the chef throws raw fish in your mouth"

"Why should you never tell jokes on the ice? The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker."

"Trump is single-handedly bringing down America. Actually, I take it back. With hands that small, he'd have to use them both."

"You think Minnie Mouse ever got drunk & decided to bang Goofy after a Disney mixer? -Was the last time my boss asked me for my thoughts"

"Black Lives Matter movement organizers lied about total number of followers. It turns out the movement is only three fifths as big as they say it is."

"I looked at a penny under the microscope. What I saw was magnificent."