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Joke of the Day
"What did the furniture salesman say when he wasn't happy with his haircut? Its a chaise lounge."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about a guy who was beaten with a marijuana joint? He suffered blunt force trauma"
"Remember, tomorrow is Good Friday So let's all act like Jesus and get completely hammered."
"Teacher : Give me a sentence with the words defence defeat and detail in it. Pupil : When a horse jumps over defence defeat go before detail !"
"To understand the difference between Italians and Canadians all you need to know is two things. Italian sausage and Canadian bacon..."
"wife: How was work? [flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said ""abreast""] me:Good"
"Speed dating, but instead of talking, you just exchange phones for 3 minutes and try to glean as much information from them as you can."
"I learned something new about Hordor (GOT SPOILERS) He's Canadian."
"When a girl has a ponytail... -Hey, what do you call that hairstyle? -A ponytail? -Ah, it really compliments your horse face."
"GOD: hey can I have one of your ribs Adam: what for GOD: uhh science project Adam: you hate science GOD: look do u wanna get laid or not"