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Joke of the Day

"Good news, you survived the horrific car crash. Sadly we couldn't find the other guy's arms but we managed to reattach all four of yours"

"I feel ripped off. I was with a bunch of kids today and not one of them said anything even remotely darndest."

"What's the difference a Whore and a Bitch? A Whore will fuck anybody, a Bitch will fuck anybody but me."

"With his comedy career basically ruined, Bill Cosby can finally pursue another dream of his... ...coaching at Penn State"

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks this morning *Edit: Not my joke but haven't seen it here and thought it was funny :)*"

"Sometimes the smartest thing you can do, is play stupid."

"If i had a dollar for every time i had an existential crisis... it wouldn't matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless"

"When a Honda Element crashes into another Honda Element it becomes a Honda Compound."

"How do you know your sister is having her period? When your fathers dick taste like blood."

"The Nokia 3310 was ahead of its time... Dust proof, water proof, had a nearly infinite battery life, indestructible, AND no audio jack!"