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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Earth suddenly enter a manic episode then go back to a depressive episode? Because it's bipolar."

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A Quarter-Pounder with Cheese."

"When it comes to discipline, I think I lack concentration camp."

"[interview for an accounting job] Your resume says your greatest strength is using idioms. How can that help in this job? ""You do the math"""

"I hate tacos. -Said no Juan ever"

"A lady asked me if I had any gum this morning I replied ""Sorry, I don't have any Extra"""

"When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? When he eats his first Brownie.?"

"""when people say different color bell peppers taste different"" [doctor nodding] I meant anything bothering you physically"

"I always thought, hey, at least air is free ...until I bought a bag of chips."

"in a kindergarten class, there is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. which one do you date? the blonde. she's 18."