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Joke of the Day
"I make the Transformers sound when I change into sweatpants."
Next Joke
"I called my boss and told him ""the roads are blocked so I'll be redditing from home today"""
"Do you want to make a small fortune? Start with a large fortune and open a restaurant."
"Dentist says I need to be more aggressive when flossing, so I'm going to start barking."
"we are young, we can do what we want, we can party all night, we can kill a guy"
"Air Bud trembles in fear after the opposing team drapes a basketball jersey over a vacuum cleaner and puts it on their starting lineup."
"If you don't know what an prefix is, don't worry. It's not the end of the word."
"My dad's take on 35 years of marriage. Me: ""Mom and Dad, how does it feel to have been married for 35 years?"" Dad: ""Well, it only seems like it's been 5 minutes..."" Mom: ""Awww!"" Dad: ""...Underwater."""
"Yo Momma so dumb she tried to climb mountain dew and thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at Hardees."
"Confucius say . . . . Man who wrong on elevator, wrong on many levels."