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Joke of the Day
"Dentist says I need to be more aggressive when flossing, so I'm going to start barking."
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"""Keep away from children to avoid suffocation"" was the best advice I've ever received. You have to pay for that nowadays"
"When I see a person with facial tattoos, I also know that I will see them in handcuffs if I follow them around long enough."
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
"Girls who are easy on the eyes are usually hard on the balls and wallet."
"What do you get if you take the red circle off a Japanese flag? The French flag."
"My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked, ""Is that the best you can do?"""
"""What's your view on lesbians?"" 1080p"
"TIL sperm donors are paid $50 per donation. It was devastating. Imagine all the money that has slipped through my fingers."
"What days are strong days? Saturday and Sunday, because the rest are weak days."