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Joke of the Day

"Air Bud trembles in fear after the opposing team drapes a basketball jersey over a vacuum cleaner and puts it on their starting lineup."

"How are Michael Jackson and Starfish Tuna similar? They both come in little cans."

"Narcissism It's in your best self interest."

"I slept on the sofa last night which is weird because I'm not even married."

"what's wrong son? that kid said he's cooler than me what? impossible. what kid? *in my head im like don't be the kid with pegs on his bike*"

"What's your number? A jewish girl and a man walks into a bar. They hit it off and the man asks for the girls number. She lifts her sleeve."

"I'm taking my mother-in-law to the new Resident Evil movie because she's staying with me and I love subliminal messages."

"Me: Not to be racist but you look like you're sick Her: How was that racist? Me: I said ""not to be racist"" you must be sicker than I thought"

"What's the most dangerous place in Washington D.C.? Between a politician and a news camera."

"Leo and Matt Damon are talking..... Leo:wanna hear a joke? Matt: sure Leo:OSCAR! Matt: i did'nt get it Leo:EXACTLY"