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Joke of the Day

"Confucius say . . . . Man who wrong on elevator, wrong on many levels."

"If you were a pole I would dance all over you."

"Why is school in Mexico a lot harder? Because they have a lot of ese's"

"I'm finally going to do something about my alcoholism I'm going to pour out all the booze in my house. One shot at a time."

"What does a neckbeard tip his fedora to in soviet russia? ""M'otherland"""

"[Halloween] Me: How adorable! I love your ghost costume! 14: *sigh* I AM NOT A GHOST! I'M SHEET-FACED."

"Can't make an important life decision so I'm gonna try and find a wise old black man to impart some wisdom like they do in movies."

"How to give a woman an orgasm? Dream harder."

"I see that El Chapo has been extradited to the U.S. So we may not get a Mexican wall but I bet we get a tunnel!"

"What do you call a crushed angle? A RECTANGLE !"