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Joke of the Day

"Whats green, has six legs and if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A snooker table"

"My 17yo pretends he doesn't understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you're finally a man"

"My neighbor once said he was as healthy as a horse. Today he broke his leg so I had to put him down."

"What did Obama's dad say when his mom wanted anal? Well they don't call me ""Saddamy"" Hussein for nothing!"

"I've got good news and bad news. The good news is this tweet is almost over. The bad news is you read the whole thing."

"What do you get when you plant a loaf of bread? A bakery."

"CHILLING WITH ESKIMOS Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice? A. Polaroids."

"what do you call a 3 humped camel? Pregnant"

"I really don't know how to put this but I think I am allergic either to peanut butter or dog saliva."

"When I'm horny, I stroll into rooms on all fours, with my ass shaking up in the air, meowing incessantly until someone throws a shoe at me."