190908

Joke of the Day

"My neighbor once said he was as healthy as a horse. Today he broke his leg so I had to put him down."

"Why don't witches like The Keg? Because it's always burned at the stake"

"Who drives away all of his customers? A taxicab driver."

"I ate four bowls of Alphabet Soup... Then I had a massive vowel movement"

"The worst part about by dad driving his hummer through a river was it was not his most expensive mistake. I was. It was me. I was the most expensive mistake."

"I celebrated 4/20 on January 5th. I know how to reduce fractions."

"What do you call a Crazy female deer? A doenut"

"America is in the labor room right now... Within 24 hours we will know if it's a boy or a girl."

"What does the cannibal think after seeing a wheelchair user? Meals on Wheels"

"How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You wave hello!"