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Joke of the Day

"""Balls!"" cried the queen. ""If I had two I'd be king!"" The king laughed. He had to."

"Why did the doctor lose his job? He lost his patience"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alceste ! Alceste who ? Alceste to meet him later !"

"Teacher draws a penis on the blackboard. ""Does any one know what that is?"" ""Yes,"" says Tommy. ""My dad has two, a small one for weeing and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth."""

"What did one casket say to the other? What did one casket say to the other casket?...Is that you coffin..."

"Men resolve a fight with a fist fight. Women resolve a fight with years of backstabbing, name calling, rumor spreading & social exclusion."

"What is the size of women in Italy? Itali-cized."

"How can you tell if someone is a chemistry major? They have a mole on their body."

"OK, guy with the two kayaks and two bikes strapped to his Subaru Outback: settle down. Save some outdoors for the rest of us."

"Was told to turn on the water hose I was told to turn on the water hose. Responded ""I don't know anything about mermaid sexuality"""