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Joke of the Day

"ENTRY-LEVEL JOB OPENING: Minimum 3 years exp required. Must speak 4 languages, have 2 Olympic medals & a reference letter from Barack Obama."

"What does Bob Marley wear to sleep? pa-jammins"

"Why is it a long and expensive process for fruit to get married They just cantelope"

"Why are gay guys able to float? Because they're flamboyant."

"Would the person who has been writing my horoscope please lighten up."

"Which government organization is involved with protecting Area 51? The C.I.ayy"

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee. Free."

"Interviewer: ""What's your greatest strength?"" *45 minutes later* Me: ""I'm very comfortable with silence."""

"David Cameron walks into a sandwich shop with a pig... The shopkeeper says ""alright dave, pulled pork ?"" ""No mate, she's just a friend."""

"What has four wheels and can't support a family? A liberal arts major. I lied about the wheels."