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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: ""What's your greatest strength?"" *45 minutes later* Me: ""I'm very comfortable with silence."""

"Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough."

"How do you circumcise a guy from Wyoming? Kick his sister in the chin."

"buzz lightyear's ful name is ""bumblebee 9.460731012 kilometers"""

"What does a curry and a bad uncle have in common? They both hurt your arsehole"

"""How crazy is your ex? Crazy like my triceps?"" ""How sick is your mother? Sick like my triceps?"""

"ME: I fell off a 50 ft tall ladder once GIRL: holy cow how did you survive ME: I fell off the bottom rung"

"SPOILER ALERT: In the book ""What to Expect When You're Expecting,"" it's a baby. You're expecting a baby."

"Why do Canadians prefer their jokes in hexadecimal? Because 7 8 9 A."

"A man walks into a bakery... And looks at the prices of the bread. The bread is very cheap, and he tells the baker, ""Man, at that price this is a stale."""