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Joke of the Day

"Excited about my bike, I decided to start a cycling club. It's been weeks and no one has joined Maybe The Pedalphiles wasn't the best name :-/"

"Hey girl, do you like trucks? Cause I got a semi."

"Just got a residual check for 6 dollars for my scene in Almost Famous sooo...going to Vegas!!!!!!!!"

"There are 2 things I love about women... Tits"

"Here's a tip: When making sad face emoticons, use :( If you use ): that means your mouth fell off and a frisbee is lodged in your forehead"

"*looks east* ah, the atlantic ocean *looks west* ah, the pacific ocean *sees a bunch of idiots raving about mediocre r&b* ah,the Frank Ocean"

"You have to love a boss with a sense of humor. Mine just sent me a 7am meeting notice on Outlook and I've never laughed so hard..."

"Why didn't the blond call 911? She couldn't find the 11 on the dial pad."

"Show me on this lemon where life gave it to you."

"""Child rearing"" sounds like something that'll get you life in prison."