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Joke of the Day

"For Christmas, every year, I get my wife a pair of shoes and a vibrator. That way, if she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself."

"Dear masturbating astronauts... In space. No one can hear you cream"

"I keep making jokes about SpaceX But none of them seem to land."

"I don't have many friends: I don't have many friends but I can draw pretty well, so I drew a bunch of friends But I only draw in black pen.. So I feel really uncomfortable"

"Roses are red violets are blue i have a gun get in the van"

"The secret cocaine ring in my school still hasnt been busted by the police It's slipping right under everyone's noses!"

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you *IN* the bathroom? European."

"In response to Wikipedia's ""price of a cup of coffee is all we need"" fundraiser. I like my coffee like my wikipedia. Free!"

"What was World of Warcraft called in the beta stage? World of Wardraft."

"What's the difference between Marcus Mariota and Floyd Mayweather? Best Duck Ever."