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Joke of the Day

"How many ""friend zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. Edit: a word"

"I'm so patriotic I ejaculate red white and blue Minus the blue part. I should see a doctor."

"When jogging, if i get tired, I insult the people i pass in my head & then imagine having to get away as they chase me..."

"My favorite mythical creature is the Honest Politician"

"Musing I've had: If a person has sex with sheep, do they need to wear a condomn?"

"Whats the difference between Jesus and Mexicans? Jesus doesn't have Mexicans tattooed all over him."

"How do you start a rave party in Africa without a soundsystem? Glue a sandwich on the ceiling."

"Trump keeps talking about restoring ""law and order."" I dunno about you, but I'd rather vote for a candidate who wants to restore Firefly."

"There are smart men, handsome men, rich men, sexy men and sweet men and then there is the combination of all. We call that one a ""unicorn"""

"The president says 60% of Americans don't know math -- 60%. So what if 60% don't know math? What about the 85% that do know math?"